Frustrated.....

Hmmmmm. How can I start this. Well, let's just start it like this, I don't need anything, but I have one question for you.... If I stopped talking to you today, would you cry? No, that's what I thought, so why should I cry over you? Funny we are so selfish that we think that world revolves around us. Look at the big picture it revolves around everyone and effects everyone so stop and try to help as many people as you can. I am not trying to say not to be happy in your life but remember there are other people that you can help. I feel that I am lost a lot of the time and I need guidance but I feel that a lot of my friends don't seem to come through for me, funny how you are there for them when needed but they are not for you???? Frustrated, because it is funny how you hear something from someone you haven't known long enough to call someone but you would take their word due to the fact they sleep with you but you and your friends might have a fall out???? Frustrated, because how would you act, think about that... Pre-judge, that's wrong.... Frustrated, because I give my all and don't recieve a 110% in return. Anger solves nothing and you need to talk to me about everything so that I can do my best to understand and give my assistance to help. Remember who was there for you before that cat showed up and before you meet that girl if needs be ....HUH. Adrion, I know you just got to Iraq pa, I like the blog you set off, I miss you so much fam and I am missing you like crazy I wish that we could be together at the same duty station. Yo, if you need anything let me know for real for real. I got you, naw mean, I want you to meet Rod, for real. Holla at me when you can. Rod, please think about what you do, hell everyone think about what you do.... Love you fam(Smoke and Adrion). But you know I am...

FRUSTRATED.....

This Goes Out....

This goes out to everyone that is someone's daughter or son. You know some things that you need in life are love, attention, and gratitude. I am proud of all my friends, Cara and Edith, for real you guys are off the chain and where ever I go I will always keep in touch with you. Edith, you have so much potential and opportunities in front of you, now you just need to get focused and get out there and get what you want. I am glad that you are happy with your man, my boogie down partner. Remember that if you ever need a shoulder, mami I am here for you, I will never judge you for the things that you say or do, but I will help try to mentor you and lead you down the right track when you get lost. Cara, what can I say, you turned me in to an alcoholic..LOL No, for real though I am so glad that we can talk about everything and not worry about one or the other talking about each other or judging, you know. Glad that you as well have found someone that makes you happy. Keep doing you and if you ever need something get at me. Aaron, you are my brother maybe not by blood, but I know that we are fam. I am so glad that we became so close and no matter where you go if you need anything you always will have a way to get in contact with me. Don't get lost again, if you feel that you are starting to go down that path you know who is there, ME (smile). Jen, you know already that me and you will remain friends, where ever our endeavors take us. You are off the chain just remember that if you need someone to talk to I am always going to be here. I am never more than a phone call, e-mail or letter away. Rod, what else is there to say you know already. A little advice just remember that if you got something good don't let it go, do everything you can to do right by them. Remember, that when someone cares about you they might act out of character sometimes but it is concern and a natural thing, maybe you never had someone care about you before so when someone acts out you act stupid toward them....? This is to everyone you know advice is free are you willing to listen. Remember, that everything you do comes back on you three times over. One last thing, people may think they know you by the way you seem, but only a few truly know you for you. I had to do this for you all and if you are not in this one there are more to come cause.....

THIS GOES OUT........

To My Brother.....

Josh, what can I say...? Hey Jewish, you are the one that always was crazy and off the chain, and I can't believe that I was the one blamed for all the BS you know. But I am so glad that we are friends which means so much more than just being sister and brothers, you know. We been through a lot right, yo? I just want to let you know that I appreciate you being there and doing my work that pops used to give us.. How you like me now..LOL I know that you remember all those times I had to cover for you when you had been drinking or your dumb ass friends had been at the house being start stupid... I miss the close calls sometimes, yo, for real I wanted to tell on you sometimes (smile). Yo, remember that time when we left school and went shopping with your credit card, or that time that Josh (Reynolds) had all those damn straws like 60 of them hooked together from McDonald's and had them hanging out the window. Yo, or the time that we were having that house party and everyone was drunk and passed out and then pops came home early... I thought that we were busted for real. I am glad that you always supported me for not drinking and not smoking (anything) LOL. I love you, yo and you have been there for me when I need someone to talk to just like I was there for you as I am still. Remember, that I am not hard on you just cause, I do it cause I don't know how to be me anymore... Can you help me be me again? Yo, I hope that you read this and you know that you mean much more to me than I have ever told you. This is just a little something that is....

TO MY BROTHER......

Clear My Mind..

Can you help me clear my mind? I have a lot on it, are you sure that you are willing to take on the burden to help me clear my mind? Everyone has something that is on their mind, you know we are constantly thinking of something. Is what is on your mind something worth keep your mind foggy? Is there something that you want to talk about? Does it seem like there is no one to turn to? Do you need to clear your mind? Keep in mind that the burdens you share with me are strictly between me and you.... Trust, I will not tell your secrets, they are yours and you confide in me for a reason, right??? To simply clear your mind... Can you listen to me, can I confide in you and trust you with all my inner most secrets? I need to clear my mind, are you who I think you are? Are you going to talk, laugh or joke about me? When you are around I am immensely amused by the way you show you care about me. Is this a front? On the phone you show concern in your voice and give me a feeling of serenity. Are you the one that is here for me to clear my mind, and confide in? I know that I am here for you, if you need me reach out, I am always there. Thinking, worrying, wanting, just you.... Can I be the one to help you.....

CLEAR YOUR MIND.....