Can you stand the RAIN????

This is a question to everyone in any type of relationship....
The meaning is hid in the words.

If you know the meaning or think you understand it
Let me know if you can stand it?
Who knows, you may think you can
But in the end you are just a lost and helpless lamb.

With the rain comes heartache and pain
That's ok because it's better than the shame
You feel when you are broken apart and lost in the dark
Funny thing is you're never that far apart

From the love of your life
It may seem like this life is a bit trife
At times you seem to think that I have given up
But think about life as a half full cup

Afforded the opportunity to be with me
Would you take it or just leave me lonely
I thought that we would make it through anything
But when times are hard you give up on the simple things

This time is for you to reflect and think
Not for me to help you swim or sink
I will be here no matter how bad I am hurting
But do you think that you can bare this burden?

I know that I can make it through the rain...
Just on more thing......

CAN YOU STAND THE RAIN??????

Tension....

This word is small yet you know the meaning. You feel its presence. You know the importance of the words, break the tension and relieve some tension. Everyday you deal with tension or stress, but there is always sometime of tension in the air. You go to work and there is someone there that just doesn't click right with the rest of the group, this is the tension that you have to deal with. The uneasy feelings, emotions and thickness in the air. How do you relieve, break or ease the tension in your life?

I am one that is known for always smiling and being per say a smart ass... But there is tension in my life as well. I just try not to let it show and I don't bring it to work, there is work tension and personal tension. My personal tension is just what it says personal so I leave that at home to be dealt with personally, by me...

If you ever feel that the tension is too much and you don't know where to turn, go release some by talking to a good friend, I am always here for anyone. Read, write, draw, listen or make music, whatever your hobby is do this to calm your nerves. Sometimes, the person making the tension doesn't know that they are and you need to just talk it out with them, majority of the time they will be willing to work it out with you.

Some things in life are just not meant to be known to other people. My tension in my personal life is one... You thought I was really going to release some tension on here? Are you crazy? There is always another time to just let go and ease the......

TENSION.......

Smoke Dogg....

What can I say I knew a great person, one that I admired and looked to amongst this problematical world. I try to figure out why I was given the opportunity to meet and become so close to a person of this stature?? Maybe, I was afforded the chance due to some of the trials and tribulations that I have encountered in my life? No, I think that I met this great person due to all the pain that we have both been through in our short lives here. How can it be that the world is so large and yet two people of the same caliber meet and end up looking out and helping one another. If I knew better I have met you before...

I know that you were the one that I went to in times of need and in times of confusion and disarray and I appreciate all of that. Thank you, so very much you will never know what impact you had on me. I will never forget the day I met you and the day that I to tell you goodbye for now, my brother. For I will always consider you family no matter where we find ourselves in journey through the rest of our lives. I will be here for you as I know that you will always be there for me. I just want you to know that I love you and miss you so much. Your companionship is greatly missed and will never be forgotten.

This is for a great person and an even greater brother.... Forever my life.....

SMOKE DOGG.....

THIS TIME......

This time, I will forgive
This time, I will let you come back and start over
This time, I will talk to you before you walk out of my life
This time, I might be the soft and understanding of the
two and try to work it out
This time, I will be the more passive of the two and give in
This time, I will be nurturing and sensitive to your needs
This time, I will try to understand what I did wrong and
how I can fix it
This time, I will apologize for the whatever it was that
went wrong
This time, I am going to work it out and keep us strong

This time, I have come to realize that I am the one every time making the sacrifice to fix what we have as a team done wrong. When is it going to be your turn to tell me this time???? Let us try this one on for size; we work on this thing together??? Maybe, just next time there won't be a.....

THIS TIME.....

I hope that you liked this one I know that it has been more than a minute since I posted on here but I have been busy... Sorry to whom ever reads these on the regular. I know that in everyone's life there is a this time... Just leave me a message and let me know what's good..

Liquid

Liquid, you might wonder why I chose this word for this blog but to tell the truth it is perfect. How did we come about? We were in a form of a liquid, we formed in a womb full of liquid and we are all full of liquid, water, blood and whatever else makes us up. How do we cleanse ourselves from a hard days work, pain, sorrow, grievances, anything that burdens us? We usually use some form of liquid, be it a hot or cold shower, to soothe us from the pain we are barring. Maybe, just maybe we are the type that run to a bottle of liquor? How about the ones that cry are these not all a form of liquid and a form of cleansing ourselves? You ever here the phrase liquid dreams, you ever wonder what it really meant? Most of you know that is a term that people on drugs use. They don't necessarily mean you have this from drug use. You can have these at anytime they just don't seem to make any sense. This is not about being wrong or taking the correct actions to clear your personal burdens it is just a note to say that we choose A......

LIQUID....

Temptation....

I know that life is one big temptation, but why do we really need these? Human nature, that is we have things that we can not resist no matter what people say. Chocolate, certain fruits, sweets in general, you know just a few things to generalize on. But some peoples temptations run deeper than the simple things. Some peoples temptations can be the opposite sex, drugs, you know the things that are not all sugar and spice. When it comes down to it, what are your temptations, and will you be honest and admit all of them. For real if you know what your temptation is, try to master it, by not letting it get the best of you. All temptation is not bad, but at the same time not all is good, you have to look at the fence from both sides, just because one side is pretty and neat the other side might be all tore up and ready to hurt you. Remember, to love all things equal and to never prejudge just weigh your options, that is the best way to look at temptation, as an option and is it really what you want. Is your temptation worth all the effort and energy that you put forth to get it? For everyone that reads these I am so sorry that it has been a minute since I put a new one on here and I hope that this was worth the wait. I enjoy all of your comments so keep it real and leave one... In closing......

Am I your temptation, or are you mine? Would you tell me or do you know if you are mine? Only time will tell if one of these is true and remember that life is one big.....

TEMPTATION......

Sister

What is a sister to you? To me it is to have someone that knows everything about you, all your hidden agendas, flaws, and strengths, and loves you for who you are. Is this someone that is only related to you? No, we all have sisters, good (real) friends, the ones that take time out for you. I have so many sisters, I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for being you. I want to tell my blood sisters Babs, and Kool Points, that without you I don't know what I would do. I love you two and would never want anyone else. You inspire me to be the person I am and trying to be, for that I thank you. All my sisters out there, that have always been there for me through the good, bad and ugly, you already know... Elise, thank you for always telling me not to be scared it is all right to have fun and there are better things out there for me. Sonya, you are like my mom more than a sister but you still are my older sister, I love you for the harsh and sternness in your voice when you would get mad at me for messing up and for showing concern when I didn't think it mattered. Shami, you are the best you showed me to stand up for myself and we grew together you always have a place to lay your head if you are coming through my neighborhood. Cara and Edith, damn the shit that we have been through, will never be forgotten, I want you to know that Korea is a life changing experience, we have grown so much here and I can't wait to see what else is in store for us. Jen, you are a great lil sister, keep growing and remember that we have come a long way don't go backwards now, always look at the green side of the grass. Michelle, you really are my mom you always make me do this and that and thank you, thank you, thank you, I know that you are always doing this to look out for my well being. To all of you we learn from each other everyday, there are more people to add but not enough time, I love you all and if you are not here in this blog you will make one, so don't give up on that. Who are your sisters and what do they mean to you? I don't know what I would do without a......

SISTER......

RISKS.....

Do you take risks? I think that we all do to an extent. These are some things that are risks that I put in perspective for you that we do everyday without thinking....

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To cry or weep is to risk being sentimental
To reach out to another is to risk involvement
To expose feelings or emotions is to risk rejection
To present your dreams before a crowd is to risk ridicule
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To push forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to
risk failure

But we must take risks cause our greatest risk in life is
to not risk at all. The person that risks nothing,
does nothing, has nothing, is nothing... You may avoid
suffering and sorrows, but you will never learn, feel or
be content in life without taking risks. These are life's
pleasures. The next time you want to be self- conscious
or timid remember that no one matters but you and the ones
that are your friends and loved ones. The rest who cares
what they think. You can hate me now, because hate is a
waste of energy, if you hate someone for the risk they took
then you are unhappy. Remember, that when you hate a
person, they either don't know or don't care so you alone
are hating. Keep moving forward and remember to live
life and the only way to truly do this is to take.....

RISKS.....

Sacrifices.....

Sometimes we do things to make other people happy knowing that it is nothing that we won't to do, sacrifices... This is what I do everyday in the Army I am away from my Bookie and I make that sacrifice to keep her happy all though I know that she would rather have me with her. I know that in the past I have spoke on not knowing me, well some sacrifices I have made is losing myself to be someone I thought people wanted me to be. I have come to realize that I don't like this new me, I want to just be me again and I am making some steps right now in the right direction that are big sacrifices. I have acted out to push people away some may have thought that I was mad, but I was doing this to push them away and it worked. I never meant to hurt anyone, I had to do it. My mother made sacrifices for me I know that she didn't want the life that she has had but we end up that way due to the position in which we find ourselves. I hope that when you make sacrifices that you don't hurt anyone in the process like I have. I just want them to know that I am slowly becoming the person that everyone loved and respected before and I want you to know that I love you as well. Remember, that I am here regardless, if I act out of character it is not you it is my pushing you out of my life, I don't like people to get close and that is my down fall. Let me have time to heal I never gave myself that time and now I am. Bare with me, for I would do it for you. This is a sacrifice I ask of you if you are a true friend and you love me all my friends, just make this sacrifice for me.... How many of us day to day go out and make sacrifices for the ones we love, or for yourselves to make it better for yourself? Life is all about the.....

SACRIFICES.....

WHY CRY???

Why cry for someone that will never cry for me?
Why cry when it seems to never make a mends to the problem?
Why cry when you know that the pain will remain?
Why cry after it is all said and done you can't undo the done?
Why cry for love that was never meant to be, for if it was they
would not leave you?
Why cry for yourself, is this satisfaction or the healing process?
Why cry for a broken heart, you will mend and be loved again?
Why cry if you know that the tears will never be seen?
Why cry when we get hurt is it to ease the pain?
Why cry for a love that is never going to return but when it was
there it felt so right?

Who cares if you cry, it is human nature and you have to let it
out, go ahead and cry this shows that you are humble and that
you have emotions. That is not a weakness but yet a strength.
Have you ever asked yourself why cry for any of these reasons?
I can tell you this, these are all the reasons....

WHY I CRY......

Simple Things....

You ever wonder what is meant by the saying simple things??? What are the simple things in life? I know that all I wanted was the simple things and that person could not give them to me... He wanted everything from me and in return nothing for me. But that is not the reason I write this one today I write this one to let him know that it is ok.. You wanted more than you said, but in the end you wanted to be alone... You know that you are never going to be content in a relationship until you close all of your open books.... You have a lot to bring to the table but you are not yet man enough nor ready to cut off the loose ends. That is all right I was ready for you and you weren't ready for anything but yourself, you are selfish and don't care about anything and right now I see you being alone for along time... What goes around comes around and I should have known better than to step up to the plate and try to hit a home run with you as the pitcher.. You threw me a curve ball and then a slider and now damn, it hurts but I will go on. Just to let you know there are no hard feelings I chose to leave because I had feelings and you didn't, I can't cry over someone that won't cry for me. I know that when I said I love you I meant it, regardless of what you thought you were saying when you said it to me it is not the issue. Keep doing you and make sure that you are happy. Remember that you told me you changed from the kid that used to run the streets, do I know this to be fact, no. I see the same old person from Germany that thought he was a playa, but go head and do that damn thing if that is what makes you happy. Keep it real with yourself and you will never have to worry about the truth hiding in the dark. Holla at me and you will know what it means to want....

SIMPLE THINGS..........

Role Model....

Can I be that someone that you look to when everything else fails you? I want to be your, example, trend and limitation setter. There are limits to everything we do, so don't get that twisted. I want to be the one that is your hero, cause you are mine. I want to know that when you get older or mature that you take some of my good values, I don't want you to be like me, cause you are you for a reason. Originality, that is what makes people unique and also envious, please do not envy me, just look to me to guide you in the right direction. Someone that helps you accomplish your dreams and expectations. Is it easy to be a role model, no and yes. We are all role models to someone rather we know it or not, someone always looks up to you. So think about that the next time you think of doing something out of character or just plain stupid. Who is your role model....? Can I be your...

ROLE MODEL..................

A Brief Moment...

Wish for just a brief moment I would be able to talk to you and you would listen.
For just a brief moment you would actually care what it is I had to say
For just a brief moment you knew how to make the world go away
For just a brief moment I thought I heard you say you want me to stay
For just a brief moment I wish that it was in your arms where I lay
For just a brief moment I want everything to go back to the old way
For just a brief moment I thought you said this would be my day
For just a brief moment I know I heard you say that this is all a game we play
For just a brief moment can I tell you everything I was scared to before
For just a brief moment I want to sneak away and just be in tuned to you
For just a brief moment can you try and act like I mean more than anything else to you
For just a brief moment I know I saw that look of what used to be love
For just a brief moment you held me like you used to do
For just a brief moment that is all I really want can you spare a moment with me??
I never thought that I would want just a brief moment but when you lose everything you love it hurts and you would do anything to get them back if for only....

A BRIEF MOMENT.....

Kiyara

Something I never thought I would have
A baby girl to say the least a superstar
So unique in all your aspects, how can anyone compete
You made me into an adult and made my life complete
You are beauty, in it's truest form
My world is but a a doorway to your life
You are going to be so much more than world is even ready for
Baby, you inspire me and I want you to know that it is you I adore
Keep your grace and remember that you are worth more
You are a superstar, show stopper and demand an encore

This is all for you the one that makes my life worth living. I hope that I will be everything that a mother is supposed to be for their daughter. I love you Bookie, I miss you so much mami... You are everything and then some, you are.......

KIYARA....

This is Me...

How do you view me? How does the world view you? Do we really care? I know that I do to an extent but then on the other hand no I don't. If you can't handle the truth don't ask the question. Be real, up front and to the point, blunt. That is me, I like to say what I mean and mean what I say. I have come to find that people respect me more when you get straight down to it and don't beat around the bush. We know that we some times tend to lie so not to hurt someone but if they find out anyways it hurts more in the end. It is going to hurt regardless, so just get it over with in the beginning. Like people trying to cheat be playa's, pimp's or whatever you want to call it. It all comes back and you should have left that person before stepping out on them, but I guess you are not man or woman enough to deal with the loss... Games or what we did as children so tell me why you can say that you are grown and still play damn games? Likely excuse you are a child at heart.... Right? I think that I have made it thus far for being me true, raw, emotions on the sleeve, original and out right blunt, ask and I will answer you with nothing but the truth. I love with no regrets and help out anyone, no one is better than me and I am no better than the next. This is me, everything I am is do to you and people like you... Who is this to? That is what you want to know, but if you think that this pertains to you then it probably does. If you don't like me then you need not worry I don't care. Oh ya,

THIS IS ME.......

DW

This one goes to out to someone that I still think about and maybe he knows, or not, but you must know by now... That my love has never stopped. What can I say I love you in some many ways. I know that it may be wrong but I have to be strong and let you know that you are a constantly on my mind. I miss everything that we used to be... I know that, that was then and this is now. I am glad that we had what we did. You made me a better person, and for that I thank you. Remember, to take what you can from a broken relationship and move on with the good. There is always something that you can take from a relationship, you just happened to give me fuel to my fire. I was strong from being hurt from Q, but you made me stronger, knowing that nothing is guaranteed. You are a great person and I hope that your mother is doing good, your sister and the new baby are doing well, I hope. Just remember that I will always be your friend contrary to popular belief. Keep your head up and glad that you are going drill that is what you wanted so do that and keep up the fire... You have done well thus far you will meet the right one soon. Get at me if you ever need anything. Remember, that when you point the finger or do dirt there are three pointing back at you. I am doing this one for.....

DW (Will)......

Allow Myself....

Will I ever be able to allow myself, to just let go? Do you allow yourself to be free? I think about the things I have been through the trials and tribulations my family and friends have been through. I wonder, will all of this make me analyze the world differently and make it so that I hesitate to allow myself to be loved? Maybe, I will never allow myself the simple joy of saying hello for the first time and knowing that this is the beginning and not the ending. Do you allow yourself the feeling of bliss when you just had your first kiss with that special someone or do you like so many of us do try to hide your feelings and cut off your emotions. We need to learn how to allow ourselves these simple pleasures in life. We go through life always wanting acceptance from our peers but you need to know that you will never be happy living your life to impress others. You need to allow yourself to be yourself and forget about the rest of the world, be happy... I have come to allow myself the courage to share this page with friends and everyone else who wants to read it.. I wish I would have learned to allow myself to open up more to my friends and family in the past, maybe things would be different. Things are the way they are for a reason and you can only make a difference to the present and the future. It's all what you make of it. So are you going to allow yourself everything??? How about we just learn to allow ourselves something that makes us happy with out the feeling of regret, remorse, or guilt..? Try that one on for size, allow yourself like I am about to start allowing myself to love with all my heart and not fear the un-mentionable.. I am going to allow myself to see everything for what it is and allow myself to appreciate all that life has to offer.... To my friends of now, then and future continue to remind me to allow myself to enjoy life, I will do it for you.. My family, I apologize now for not knowing how to......

ALLOW MYSELF.....

Too Shady.....

Damn, the things that people do or say to turn friends against each other.. I know now that I have some good friends that don't listen to BS.... People are unhappy with their lives or themselves so they try to make everyone else unhappy around them.. Damn, yo, get a clue, this is not that serious. The best thing for you to do which my friend did is go to the source and ask plain and simple what happened. Squash it. Sometimes people can really be ugly they smile in your face but really they just want to take your place, you know "backstabber's"... (Smile) I had to get at this one, because do to popular belief they are out there. Keep being great friends and if you got an issue work it out. I will never say, do, or act out of character and deny it if I wasn't going to tell you to your face. Remember, that we all need good friends to rely, trust and confide in.... Keep it real with me and I will definitely keep it real with you, always. Just don't let yourself be the one that is being....

TOO SHADY....

Words to a Ghost Love

Where are you? Gone, or did you ever really exist? My love for you was so strong, yet you denied it and left me alone and sad. The funny thing is I still feel your presence, I know that you are here somewhere.... Why can't I find you? Do I need you? No, but, it would be nice to be with you again. Why when you did me wrong I accepted your apology and took you back with open arms. However, when I stepped out of character one time, you leave me forever? Is this right, can you tell me that you don't love me? Did you ever really love me? I know that we are all just human and prone to make mistakes, and forgiving is the key and learning from that is the answer. You can make a mistake and be forgiven this is your chance at redeeming yourself... I gave you the chance over and over again, my love, but you somehow felt it necessary not to allow me the opportunity to redeem myself. Once, I felt your love and the tenderness in your touch and the concern in your voice. How could this just have been made up? Was I imagining all of this? I hope not, just because you went away, doesn't mean that you changed in my heart. You were perfect to me, all your imperfections were cute to me, and is what made you, you. I miss your smile and the way your voice sounded on the phone when you were worried about me. I want to be the one that you tell you love and the one that you come home to at night. Where are you? Oh, yes this is just my imagination running array.
Remember we all have ghost loves, they are someone that is perfect that we lost, never had, or just will always want... Who is your ghost love and how do your words sound, similar?
If you get this or you are out there and some how hear this. These are my...

WORDS TO A GHOST LOVE.....

Where I Wanna Be....

Today, I sit and think, is this where I wanna be? Are you where you wanna be? Can you honestly say this is where you wanna be? No, I know this is not where I wanna be, I know that I am young still and have so much left to learn. I am here waiting, willing, yearning to be your student, teach me everything you know I will be a sponge to your knowledge and absorb everything you want to share with me. On the other hand, I don't know if with you is where I wanna be, to me you have prior engagements not including me or a hidden agenda. How cliche' that would be for me to say that I trust you when I know there is doubt lingering there. I need to find out where I wanna be I know that I want you, I don't want to hurt you and I definitely don't want to lose you. Would you be willing to allow me the ample time to see where I wanna be? I know that this is a hard question, but I love you and I don't want to hurt you by staying with you and me being unhappy and in turn making the feeling mutual. Can you let me go without letting go? I don't want to lose you like I said before but I am afraid that if I don't do this now I will lose you all together. This is a hard decision and I know that you may think that I am running away since I don't know what it is like when you find something that doesn't want to use or hurt you... I need to find me, forgive myself and forgive him, before I can love me and allow myself to be loved. You can never truly love or be loved until you have forgiven yourself and the person that did you wrong and then look at yourself and love what you see. It is hard to say this but, I need to know.....

WHERE I WANNA BE.......