Just Blaze.....

First off I want to come out and say this is not what you think it is... One thing I have learned in my day is never burn bridges, because you never know if you will have to cross that bridge again. Now I am here to tell you, you have one life to live so do you. Why worry about tomorrow or yesterday when there is today? The funny thing is that we are what society wants us to be, we never really go out there and do what we want. We are molded from birth to be an ample part of society. Funny you probably never looked at this way.

I am here just to tell you my views if you see it as knowledge take it and pass it on cause knowledge is nothing to anyone if no knows you are brilliant. Right? I have so many people around me everyday and I want to ask them what they did today, just because I know that is really not what "they" wanted to??? Not too many people will say man, I love my job, or just say they did what their one true desire in life is. So the next time you think of all these things think how happy you are at the moment. If you are not happy in your present situation then only you can change it and make it to what you want it to be.

In closing I want you to think of this quote that means a lot to me. "Happiness makes up in height, what it lacks in length." (Robert Frost)

So go out there and live your life and in my words....

JUST BLAZE!!!!!

Sunny Days....

You know that song "Sunny Days" the theme song to Sesame Street? I know you know so stop playng like you all too good for that show, it was the shit in the day. I love Ernie and Cookie Monster was my favorite. But anyway, on the subject Sunny Days, I have so many good memories. Lately like, going out with my friend Edith and her boyfriend (PJ). You know we all had a ball at the amusement park (Seoul Land), we have fun everytime we hang out. We are always acting like little kids and I like to do that to break away from the professionalism that I deal with in the military every day. I have good memories of playing with my daughter, my little number one stunner she is a bright shinning start and I hope that she never dims, with age. We all lose some of our shine with age if you let it go.

I have memories with so many of my friends, cousins, family, you know... I wish that I still had all the pictures but I still know I have all the memories. I miss all my friends that I have made along the way. I know that there are more Sunny Days to come and I will always have them to look back on you know. High School, just growing up in general, Basic, AIT, Ft. Benning, Germany, Ft. Lewis, Ft. Sam and now Korea... There are so many people I would like to name and say that yes we had Sunny Days together. I miss all of you and can't wait to see you again or even hear from you again. Remember there are always more Sunny Days even in your worst stormy days. Keep the memories of all your....

SUNNY DAYS.....

I know that this was not really like me on this one but you know I had to go out on a limb and do a lil something different. Here are some pics of me and some of my sunny days and the people that contribute. I miss my friends. Love all of you...

Clarify

Yo, first off let me, let you know that when I write it is really the way I think and what's on my mind at the time. Don't get it twisted with me writing to a certain someone because you would just make a fool out of yourself. The funny thing the more I write the better I feel so it just releases everything, past, present and future. You feel me on this? I have read some comments from people, be them friends or friends of friends and they think that I am writing about someone that I am with now or at the time of the blog... NO, that is incorrect it was just something that I had on my mind maybe for a long time and I was trying to get it off my chest. We all have burdens that weigh us down. Just remember that this is my release.

I am happy at the time with who I am and if I am with someone you will know soon enough.. LOL Keep it real and make sure you keep everyone thinking they know you. There are three people in all of us, the one we know, the one our friends know and the one that other people think they know. So who are we really? Just something to think about. I will close this and just so you know this is just to let you know about me and my writings it is just.....

CLARIFICATION....

Why me....

Is that conceded to ask this? For real everyone wants to know, why me...? You know how it goes and I want to know, why me? I want to know why my kindness is taken for weakness? Why is my ability to be civil taken as someone that is a walk over? Can you tell me why I am mild tempered and accept so much shit from friends but once pissed off, piss everyone else off? Why is it easy to hear someone say I love you, but hard for me to say it? Probably due to the fact that, I am not out here trying to lead anyone on, I am here to be truthful and blunt. I have to keep it real for myself and for everyone that is around me. Why is it so easy for people to lie, yet it is almost impossible for me to. Why do I have a conscience and it seems the rest of the world has yet to find theirs? Why is it so hard for me to find someone and stay happy with them.?

This is just a few things that I wanted to put out there. I hope that you can compare and think that maybe these are some of the questions that you ask yourself sometimes. Get at me and let me know what you think about this one? So can anyone tell me....

WHY ME...???

Breaking Point....

Look at life like a challenge, a test, to see how far everyone can push you to your breaking point. I am not going to meet my breaking point for a long time I am hoping. I live life to the fullest, some say too blessed to be stressed, I say YA RIGHT. Feel me on this, stress is a natural part of life there is negative stress and positive stress. We need stress to live a healthy lifestyle. So next time you here that, stupid saying that some body with nothing but time on their hands made up, tell them I beg to differ. I know that many people meet their breaking point early in life and others live life all out and and meet their breaking point late in life. How much can you take of someone always picking at you? Do you know when enough is really enough? Can you tell me if you know your....

BREAKING POINT????

Mirror

Sometimes I sit back and look at my life as through a mirror. I see all of my choices reflecting back to me and how they changed my life be them good and bad. Our life is a reflection of all of our past decisions. Sometimes we have to take the time and look out of the course of our lives and wonder how or why we did some of the things that we did? I have recently looked in to my life and realized that damn, what the hell was I thinking do that?? I can look in the mirror and see how I have changed and grown through my own personal life's decisions.

Have you ever looked at someone and said, "Damn, they have had a rough life"??? I know that I have and it is funny because we don't know what they see when they look in their mirror, but we know what reflection their mirror is showing us. All of us are just a reflection that our own mirror wants everyone to see us as.... Funny you can look at the Fairy Tale Snow White and see that the mirror, mirror on the wall saw Snow White as the fairest of all, but the evil queen wanted to be the one. Her mirror new that she was grimy and let her know that there was someone out there that looked better.

Don't get it bent though. Looks are far from everything, they are what people see at first and if you are really shallow then that is all you want, a trophy to say the least. If you want a companion, a lover and an understander...(I know I made it up LOL, it sounds good though) then you need to look into their mirror and see what's really good. Like people say and I know for a fact, trial and error, you can have the finest person but once you get to know them they turn ugly. Maybe you don't have the prettiest looking person, but once you get to know them their reflection changes and you find that you have someone very attractive.

What do you see when you look at me? But most important do you like what you see when you look at your personal reflection in your own......

MIRROR......

Who Are You to Judge Me?????

Who are you to judge me or anyone for that matter
Who are you to judge me due to the color of my skin
Who are you to judge me for the company I keep
Who are you to judge me by the way I carry myself
Who are you to judge me for the way I talk or act
Who are you to judge me due to minor imperfections
Who are you to judge me for my pass mishaps
Who are you to judge me due to whom I am related
Who are you to judge me due to my beliefs
Who are you to judge me by the way I dress
Who are you to judge me for minor faults that I might
not know that I have
Who are you to judge me by the amount of money
I have or don't

I could go on forever on this subject... But I know that you are no one for only God can judge me now... If I mess up today, I pay for it tomorrow. If I see fit to be wrong during this life, I shall be judged and punished for that in my next life. So as I end this let me just ask you this....

WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME....?

Funny thing is we all judge people for one or more of the things listed above and find ourselves acting as if we are better than the next. We are not, we are made with imperfections and good and bad qualities that is what makes this place so special, everyone is not the same. Can you answer the question I have put forth today in this blog???

you know

Only God can judge me
Therefore I dont care what you think say or even heard about me
Who is you to judge me anyway
You arent the all mighty so it really doesnt matter what you say
You can faze me hate me for who I am
Im a natural born hustla and I am what I am
Trust me if I cared about the way you thought of me
Then it would honesty suck like any other injury
If we cool then we cool
Never hate on me never act a fool
Trust me my bullsh#t tolerance level is real low
If you a chick then know this Im all about my doughI have too many other things in mind than sit and try to figure you out.
I made that mistake when I never should have been in doubt
For all you Kat's that think you know P
You better take another look cause thorough bred is about cheese
I don't have time to hang out and chill
Every move I make is calculated like craftsman's steel
There's only a few things that I put before my life
Other than them the rest is out of my life.
So if you don't know me and you trying to get to know me
Here's a tip come correct or leave.
I'M ONE OF THE REALEST SIMPLY PUT!


YOU KNOW

Can you stand the RAIN????

This is a question to everyone in any type of relationship....
The meaning is hid in the words.

If you know the meaning or think you understand it
Let me know if you can stand it?
Who knows, you may think you can
But in the end you are just a lost and helpless lamb.

With the rain comes heartache and pain
That's ok because it's better than the shame
You feel when you are broken apart and lost in the dark
Funny thing is you're never that far apart

From the love of your life
It may seem like this life is a bit trife
At times you seem to think that I have given up
But think about life as a half full cup

Afforded the opportunity to be with me
Would you take it or just leave me lonely
I thought that we would make it through anything
But when times are hard you give up on the simple things

This time is for you to reflect and think
Not for me to help you swim or sink
I will be here no matter how bad I am hurting
But do you think that you can bare this burden?

I know that I can make it through the rain...
Just on more thing......

CAN YOU STAND THE RAIN??????

Tension....

This word is small yet you know the meaning. You feel its presence. You know the importance of the words, break the tension and relieve some tension. Everyday you deal with tension or stress, but there is always sometime of tension in the air. You go to work and there is someone there that just doesn't click right with the rest of the group, this is the tension that you have to deal with. The uneasy feelings, emotions and thickness in the air. How do you relieve, break or ease the tension in your life?

I am one that is known for always smiling and being per say a smart ass... But there is tension in my life as well. I just try not to let it show and I don't bring it to work, there is work tension and personal tension. My personal tension is just what it says personal so I leave that at home to be dealt with personally, by me...

If you ever feel that the tension is too much and you don't know where to turn, go release some by talking to a good friend, I am always here for anyone. Read, write, draw, listen or make music, whatever your hobby is do this to calm your nerves. Sometimes, the person making the tension doesn't know that they are and you need to just talk it out with them, majority of the time they will be willing to work it out with you.

Some things in life are just not meant to be known to other people. My tension in my personal life is one... You thought I was really going to release some tension on here? Are you crazy? There is always another time to just let go and ease the......

TENSION.......

Smoke Dogg....

What can I say I knew a great person, one that I admired and looked to amongst this problematical world. I try to figure out why I was given the opportunity to meet and become so close to a person of this stature?? Maybe, I was afforded the chance due to some of the trials and tribulations that I have encountered in my life? No, I think that I met this great person due to all the pain that we have both been through in our short lives here. How can it be that the world is so large and yet two people of the same caliber meet and end up looking out and helping one another. If I knew better I have met you before...

I know that you were the one that I went to in times of need and in times of confusion and disarray and I appreciate all of that. Thank you, so very much you will never know what impact you had on me. I will never forget the day I met you and the day that I to tell you goodbye for now, my brother. For I will always consider you family no matter where we find ourselves in journey through the rest of our lives. I will be here for you as I know that you will always be there for me. I just want you to know that I love you and miss you so much. Your companionship is greatly missed and will never be forgotten.

This is for a great person and an even greater brother.... Forever my life.....

SMOKE DOGG.....

THIS TIME......

This time, I will forgive
This time, I will let you come back and start over
This time, I will talk to you before you walk out of my life
This time, I might be the soft and understanding of the
two and try to work it out
This time, I will be the more passive of the two and give in
This time, I will be nurturing and sensitive to your needs
This time, I will try to understand what I did wrong and
how I can fix it
This time, I will apologize for the whatever it was that
went wrong
This time, I am going to work it out and keep us strong

This time, I have come to realize that I am the one every time making the sacrifice to fix what we have as a team done wrong. When is it going to be your turn to tell me this time???? Let us try this one on for size; we work on this thing together??? Maybe, just next time there won't be a.....

THIS TIME.....

I hope that you liked this one I know that it has been more than a minute since I posted on here but I have been busy... Sorry to whom ever reads these on the regular. I know that in everyone's life there is a this time... Just leave me a message and let me know what's good..

Liquid

Liquid, you might wonder why I chose this word for this blog but to tell the truth it is perfect. How did we come about? We were in a form of a liquid, we formed in a womb full of liquid and we are all full of liquid, water, blood and whatever else makes us up. How do we cleanse ourselves from a hard days work, pain, sorrow, grievances, anything that burdens us? We usually use some form of liquid, be it a hot or cold shower, to soothe us from the pain we are barring. Maybe, just maybe we are the type that run to a bottle of liquor? How about the ones that cry are these not all a form of liquid and a form of cleansing ourselves? You ever here the phrase liquid dreams, you ever wonder what it really meant? Most of you know that is a term that people on drugs use. They don't necessarily mean you have this from drug use. You can have these at anytime they just don't seem to make any sense. This is not about being wrong or taking the correct actions to clear your personal burdens it is just a note to say that we choose A......

LIQUID....

Temptation....

I know that life is one big temptation, but why do we really need these? Human nature, that is we have things that we can not resist no matter what people say. Chocolate, certain fruits, sweets in general, you know just a few things to generalize on. But some peoples temptations run deeper than the simple things. Some peoples temptations can be the opposite sex, drugs, you know the things that are not all sugar and spice. When it comes down to it, what are your temptations, and will you be honest and admit all of them. For real if you know what your temptation is, try to master it, by not letting it get the best of you. All temptation is not bad, but at the same time not all is good, you have to look at the fence from both sides, just because one side is pretty and neat the other side might be all tore up and ready to hurt you. Remember, to love all things equal and to never prejudge just weigh your options, that is the best way to look at temptation, as an option and is it really what you want. Is your temptation worth all the effort and energy that you put forth to get it? For everyone that reads these I am so sorry that it has been a minute since I put a new one on here and I hope that this was worth the wait. I enjoy all of your comments so keep it real and leave one... In closing......

Am I your temptation, or are you mine? Would you tell me or do you know if you are mine? Only time will tell if one of these is true and remember that life is one big.....

TEMPTATION......

Sister

What is a sister to you? To me it is to have someone that knows everything about you, all your hidden agendas, flaws, and strengths, and loves you for who you are. Is this someone that is only related to you? No, we all have sisters, good (real) friends, the ones that take time out for you. I have so many sisters, I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for being you. I want to tell my blood sisters Babs, and Kool Points, that without you I don't know what I would do. I love you two and would never want anyone else. You inspire me to be the person I am and trying to be, for that I thank you. All my sisters out there, that have always been there for me through the good, bad and ugly, you already know... Elise, thank you for always telling me not to be scared it is all right to have fun and there are better things out there for me. Sonya, you are like my mom more than a sister but you still are my older sister, I love you for the harsh and sternness in your voice when you would get mad at me for messing up and for showing concern when I didn't think it mattered. Shami, you are the best you showed me to stand up for myself and we grew together you always have a place to lay your head if you are coming through my neighborhood. Cara and Edith, damn the shit that we have been through, will never be forgotten, I want you to know that Korea is a life changing experience, we have grown so much here and I can't wait to see what else is in store for us. Jen, you are a great lil sister, keep growing and remember that we have come a long way don't go backwards now, always look at the green side of the grass. Michelle, you really are my mom you always make me do this and that and thank you, thank you, thank you, I know that you are always doing this to look out for my well being. To all of you we learn from each other everyday, there are more people to add but not enough time, I love you all and if you are not here in this blog you will make one, so don't give up on that. Who are your sisters and what do they mean to you? I don't know what I would do without a......

SISTER......

RISKS.....

Do you take risks? I think that we all do to an extent. These are some things that are risks that I put in perspective for you that we do everyday without thinking....

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To cry or weep is to risk being sentimental
To reach out to another is to risk involvement
To expose feelings or emotions is to risk rejection
To present your dreams before a crowd is to risk ridicule
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To push forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to
risk failure

But we must take risks cause our greatest risk in life is
to not risk at all. The person that risks nothing,
does nothing, has nothing, is nothing... You may avoid
suffering and sorrows, but you will never learn, feel or
be content in life without taking risks. These are life's
pleasures. The next time you want to be self- conscious
or timid remember that no one matters but you and the ones
that are your friends and loved ones. The rest who cares
what they think. You can hate me now, because hate is a
waste of energy, if you hate someone for the risk they took
then you are unhappy. Remember, that when you hate a
person, they either don't know or don't care so you alone
are hating. Keep moving forward and remember to live
life and the only way to truly do this is to take.....

RISKS.....

Sacrifices.....

Sometimes we do things to make other people happy knowing that it is nothing that we won't to do, sacrifices... This is what I do everyday in the Army I am away from my Bookie and I make that sacrifice to keep her happy all though I know that she would rather have me with her. I know that in the past I have spoke on not knowing me, well some sacrifices I have made is losing myself to be someone I thought people wanted me to be. I have come to realize that I don't like this new me, I want to just be me again and I am making some steps right now in the right direction that are big sacrifices. I have acted out to push people away some may have thought that I was mad, but I was doing this to push them away and it worked. I never meant to hurt anyone, I had to do it. My mother made sacrifices for me I know that she didn't want the life that she has had but we end up that way due to the position in which we find ourselves. I hope that when you make sacrifices that you don't hurt anyone in the process like I have. I just want them to know that I am slowly becoming the person that everyone loved and respected before and I want you to know that I love you as well. Remember, that I am here regardless, if I act out of character it is not you it is my pushing you out of my life, I don't like people to get close and that is my down fall. Let me have time to heal I never gave myself that time and now I am. Bare with me, for I would do it for you. This is a sacrifice I ask of you if you are a true friend and you love me all my friends, just make this sacrifice for me.... How many of us day to day go out and make sacrifices for the ones we love, or for yourselves to make it better for yourself? Life is all about the.....

SACRIFICES.....

WHY CRY???

Why cry for someone that will never cry for me?
Why cry when it seems to never make a mends to the problem?
Why cry when you know that the pain will remain?
Why cry after it is all said and done you can't undo the done?
Why cry for love that was never meant to be, for if it was they
would not leave you?
Why cry for yourself, is this satisfaction or the healing process?
Why cry for a broken heart, you will mend and be loved again?
Why cry if you know that the tears will never be seen?
Why cry when we get hurt is it to ease the pain?
Why cry for a love that is never going to return but when it was
there it felt so right?

Who cares if you cry, it is human nature and you have to let it
out, go ahead and cry this shows that you are humble and that
you have emotions. That is not a weakness but yet a strength.
Have you ever asked yourself why cry for any of these reasons?
I can tell you this, these are all the reasons....

WHY I CRY......

Simple Things....

You ever wonder what is meant by the saying simple things??? What are the simple things in life? I know that all I wanted was the simple things and that person could not give them to me... He wanted everything from me and in return nothing for me. But that is not the reason I write this one today I write this one to let him know that it is ok.. You wanted more than you said, but in the end you wanted to be alone... You know that you are never going to be content in a relationship until you close all of your open books.... You have a lot to bring to the table but you are not yet man enough nor ready to cut off the loose ends. That is all right I was ready for you and you weren't ready for anything but yourself, you are selfish and don't care about anything and right now I see you being alone for along time... What goes around comes around and I should have known better than to step up to the plate and try to hit a home run with you as the pitcher.. You threw me a curve ball and then a slider and now damn, it hurts but I will go on. Just to let you know there are no hard feelings I chose to leave because I had feelings and you didn't, I can't cry over someone that won't cry for me. I know that when I said I love you I meant it, regardless of what you thought you were saying when you said it to me it is not the issue. Keep doing you and make sure that you are happy. Remember that you told me you changed from the kid that used to run the streets, do I know this to be fact, no. I see the same old person from Germany that thought he was a playa, but go head and do that damn thing if that is what makes you happy. Keep it real with yourself and you will never have to worry about the truth hiding in the dark. Holla at me and you will know what it means to want....

SIMPLE THINGS..........

Role Model....

Can I be that someone that you look to when everything else fails you? I want to be your, example, trend and limitation setter. There are limits to everything we do, so don't get that twisted. I want to be the one that is your hero, cause you are mine. I want to know that when you get older or mature that you take some of my good values, I don't want you to be like me, cause you are you for a reason. Originality, that is what makes people unique and also envious, please do not envy me, just look to me to guide you in the right direction. Someone that helps you accomplish your dreams and expectations. Is it easy to be a role model, no and yes. We are all role models to someone rather we know it or not, someone always looks up to you. So think about that the next time you think of doing something out of character or just plain stupid. Who is your role model....? Can I be your...

ROLE MODEL..................