OH YA

Tell me that you have one of those days, you wake up and the only thing that comes to your mind is "OH YA"!!! I am having one of those days everything seems to just be great. I have a rough past two weeks but today just woke up on the right side of the bed if you know what I mean. I think I will go out and find something to do it is nice and crisp out so a hoody and adidas tear aways. Doing it big today LOL.

I can only hope that the rest of the weekend goes as good. Let me know what you have planned for the weekend? I will let you know what I did this weekend and if it was worth the trouble. So go ahead and do what you do and have a great day you know the one that makes you say...

OH YA.....

Pumpkin Picking

So kiyara, me, Maria and Danielle all went pumpkin picking a couple weeks ago. I forgot that it is really dirty out there and I wore my NY Yankees shoes and they looked like caca when we got home. We had a great time getting apples, squash, and pumpkins. The weather was great and it was the first time since I was a little kid that I went and did this. I hope that I am forming new traditions as a family for Kiyara.

We are all going this weekend again to go to the huge corn Maze and get cider so that should be interesting I am actually looking forward to it. I hope that everyone is taking full advantage of this beautiful fall season upon us. Let me know if you go

PUMPKIN PICKING.....

Fall

My favorite season is upon us. Most people enjoy Winter or Summer but the fall to me is the most extravagant of all seasons. The trees turn beautiful colors and seems to give the just plain green world life. The air has a slight crispness to it and people tend to cuddle more with the one they love. Hot Chocolate, Tea, soups, warm bread and pastries are all part of this great experience so why doesn't everyone love fall as much as I?

I love getting ready for the holidays and bundling up in a nice sweater and scarf. This is the best time of year for me going out and picking apples baking every type of desert I can think of... Taking time to show Kiyara the beauty of the fall is a great adventure. Halloween is exciting as well Kiyara gets to pick a pumpkin and go on a hayride and haunted houses. All the joys of childhood.

I get to share all the experiences as a family this year and I am really looking forward to it. Trips out to eastern long island for the fall harvest festivals and wine tasting. OUTSTANDING that is one word that comes to mind. I will let you know how my fall goes. Just remember that the next time you complain about the heat of summer we can always look forward to the chill and beauty of.....

FALL

DIRME

Dirme lei pensa di me.
Dirme sono il solo un lei vuole essere con per il riposo della sua vita.
Dirme questo è reale e non sogno.
Dirme ho trovato il mio un vero amore.
Dirme che lei me ama l'intero dal cuore.
Dirme che che abbiamo è semplice ed ancora complicato allo stesso tempo.
Dirme la maniera sento è il vero amore.
Dirme mi sveglierò vicino a lei per finché vivo.
Dirme un'ultima cosa.
Dirme lei ME AMA.

DIRME

To the Greatest.....

Te quiero hoy como yo hice el día que encontramos.
Usted es la belleza es en ello forma de verdad.
Esta cosa que tenemos es nada menos que la perfección.
¿Le puedo hacer yo tan feliz como usted me ha hecho?
Apenas algo yo sé que usted puede saber y si no yo le digo ahora.

TE quiero MAMI ATRACTIVA.

TE AMO

Porque tú eres tú
y yo vivo soñándote
porque mi mundo son tus sueños
y tus sueños son deseos.
porque te quiero
y quererte es mi camino
El camino que amo: tú.

Enchanting

For a moment I was enchanted by the glow of your face with the fading light of the sun setting in the distance gave you a radiance that is utterly indescribable. I knew the day we met everything would work out and be something that is so enchanting I do not know how to describe it other than that. You took my breath away with your soft touch and the way you whisper the words I love you in to my ear sounds like a gentle breeze passing in the leaves. Could I have been this fortunate to have a the opportunity to woo someone as enchanted as you?

Its funny now that I speak of it I love the little things you do for me and most of all I love the way you get frustrated over the littlest things. So you have captured my attention now what will you do with it? Can you remain as enchanting as the first day I met you, or will this fade with time as they say so many things do? I would only hope that this lasts forever, my love for you has no ending, boundary or stipulation to alter the path we have chosen.

Now I leave you with this I am here to love you and make you happy to give you something everyone else has failed to do until now. I want you to know that this is real there is no, "for the time being", the new love feeling, nor is this a dream. I am here real flesh and blood willing to put my heart out there to possibly get hurt but hopefully not.

You have a certain way about you something so rare it is hard not to say that you are so very........


ENCHANTING!!!!!!

Taking it all in.....

So life is crazy and we love that, well most people do. Change is good but sometimes just doing the same old thing is great. I love Sundays because it is a day for me to relax and be lazy while spending time with 2 great loves in my life. Now that I have a job that is once again Mon - Fri. I have family time on the weekends and we can start going on trips doing something worth while during the summer months.

I have been adjusting to have the little bookie back for the last couple months and she amazes me everyday. The thing is she has the intelligence of a teenager but lacks the enthusiasm to do the work we assign her. I want her to be ahead of her class so she is not the one struggling to get on the same page as everyone else. She has a great amount of energy and I love that because it keeps me on my feet.

My love you are probably the best thing that has ever happened to me other than bookie. You support me through everything sometimes you are a bit harsh but I know you don't mean it. I love the way your voice sounds when you first call me and when you tell me you love me it is the greatest feeling ever. I love you and can't wait to go on some excursions with you and bookie this summer.

Right now I am just trying to sit back, relax and let the good times roll!!!! Just try to enjoy every minute that you have here nothing is for sure and there are no guarantees that we will be here tomorrow or have what we have today. Take what you will from life I take the positive and leave the negative so that I can bask in the greatness of what we call life. So for now I'm just trying to....

TAKE IT ALL IN!!!!

Something's missing....

You ever wake up in the middle of the night and realize damn there's something missing?
I have to get up by 0230 to make it to work by 0500 and I have been having trouble sleeping.
I know why because something is missing...
I wake up and notice there is nothing to wake up next to and there is no one sending me messages the day through.
Your touch and the way you look at me or the way you smile in the morning when I say something stupid.
I miss your smell it has all but faded from the pillow and now it is that much harder.
I miss those small things they made my day that much better.
DHL is the same but my role is different and your not here to support me through it.
I don't have my best friend to call or see and confide in.
This is not something I thought would be so difficult.
But for some strange reason I feel lost, confused and plain again.
With you I feel like I can accomplish anything and you make me feel like I am the greatest person in the world.
This is something that I need you to know because when you are gone I miss you so much more than you will ever fathom.
I am here waiting for you I want you to know that right now I know there's


SOMETHING MISSING....

Relief

I have decided what is best for me and mine. Was to go back to DHL of course for a little more $$$$. But hey we all need that in our lives and it was a great feeling to go back to work and everyone was so ecstatic to see me. I was grateful to come back to open arms since they did in fact ask me to come back not once but twice... Hmmmmm what can I say I make a great impression... LOL

You don't know or maybe you do the great relief that is lifted from your shoulders when you finally get back where you belong. It is frustrating to work so hard and make nothing for it. Don't get me wrong I love working ask anyone that really knows me.... I just can't fathom staying at a dead end job and not making any money with ridiculous hours and days. So sometimes we make mistakes but there is always something or someone to help us get back on track. Thank you babe for helping in supporting me get back to where I belong.

You know what's next? I think you know what I want and if not for the time being we have....

RELIEF

Special Report 7/12/07

So our favorite President GW was on and cut off my Rachel Ray show with his ignorant press conference. To tell the truth I watched to hear what incompetent BS he had to spew today.. This is the best puppet on a string we have had in a long ASS time. How can an illiterate hillbilly, redneck, hick from texASS become our president? We really need to take back control of the government (by the people, for the people???) . HELLO.

Did anyone watch this hypocrite today? If so I hope that it pissed you off every time this jackass had a smile or shitty smirk on his face like the Iraq war is a god damn game (this is not risk the board game) take a risk and we may win for a cause that has yet to be clearly defined and changes every time he opens his mouth. If you served or still are serving specially during the duration of this peace keeping mission (Operation Iraqi Enduring Freedom)..... I know you are tired of funeral details for young men and women and handing that folded flag to a grieving spouse or parent. The worst is having them hold on to your hand look you in the eyes with tears and ask why and thank you at the same time. All you can do is give your condolences and proceed as the NCO of the detail with out showing any emotion, remember we may not show weakness remain professional at all times. I am tired of hearing my fellow brothers and sisters in arms being killed and there is no end or resolution in sight.... So we just keep hearing the deployments will be more frequent and longer tours???? Come on now enough is enough.

I am going back in to the service because I am a soldier and that is what I do best I miss it and I choose to be one that stands up and protects against enemies both foreign and domestic. But that does not mean put us in harms way for a reason that has changed how many times and now seems to really not have had a real cause?

This man that is supposed to represent America is standing up there and making us go round and round the mulberry bush waiting for the weasel to pop... Funny right but the weasel already popped it is BUSH..... We just don't have a congress with a back bone right now to say enough is enough and you have abused your power and we are going to impeach you....

Back to this mornings "Special Report" he talked around every question and at one point a reporter named Martha asked: "When Sept comes and we have still made no progress and military leaders are sending feedback that this is pointless what will you do then?" Bush answered by saying: "You are asking me to tell you what my state of mind will be at that time. I will have a press conference then and you may ask me then." COME THE FUCK ON... That is the most Horseshit answer I have ever heard.... Just had to get this out and tell all my fellow troops I miss and and love all of you keep your morale high, stay alert, stay alive and keep up the FIRE!!!!!!!


This is all due to a.....

SPECIAL REPORT 7/12/07

Alone

Lying, thinking Last night How to find my soul a home Where water is not thirsty And bread loaf is not stone I came up with one thing And I don't believe I'm wrong That nobody, But nobody Can make it out here alone. Alone, all alone Nobody, but nobody Can make it out here alone. There are some millionaires With money they can't use Their wives run round like banshees Their children sing the blues They've got expensive doctors To cure their hearts of stone. But nobody No, nobody Can make it out here alone. Alone, all alone Nobody, but nobody Can make it out here alone. Now if you listen closely I'll tell you what I know Storm clouds are gathering The wind is gonna blow The race of man is suffering And I can hear the moan, 'Cause nobody, But nobody Can make it out here alone. Alone, all alone Nobody, but nobody Can make it out here alone. Maya Angelou A poem that meant a great deal to me by a poet that was outstanding.....

Love.....

Can you make someone love you?
Is it love when you know that you found the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Or is just the beginning of something that will hopefully grow into full blown love?
Do we know when love is there or do we just hope that the love we give is returned?
Does it matter what they look like to everyone else or will what you thought was love be abandoned due to peer pressure?
If you really are in love do your eyes stray more than just for a glance?
Does love change your entire outlook on life?
When you are with the one you love do you think about when they will leave or do you wish the moment never ends?
Do you have what it takes to be in love and make it work? (that means good, bad, low and high times)
If you are away from each other only for a small increment of time are you missing them and constantly thinking of them?
Do you ever think that maybe this is not the right one?

These are all questions at some point in time you may ask your self or think of when you are just trying to figure out what it is you have or want. No one said love was easy and you need to realize that it doesn't hold everything together you and the person you are with are the glue and that means you have to work together to stick together. Love is like a house it is built on a foundation but at times it needs small repairs sometimes major renovations. The key I have found is small simple things mean a lot well at least to me they do... The things I do is make time for just me and the person I am with which means I have cooked dinner and paired it with some nice wine and a simple dessert. Then we watch a movie or play a board game or perhaps I pack a picnic and we go to the park or down to a place that is special for the both of us. You can also do things more romantic to jazz it up a bit like flowers and chocolates sent to the job, or a day get away to somewhere you have planned out and you have reservations at a nice Suite and Restaurant. So tell me what you think about this subject and if you have come up with some good ideas to keep it fresh in the arena of....

LOVE

Party Like a Rockstar.....

All right I guess everyone wants to do this at some point in their lives... Right? So when is the right time...? You tell me they say your too young, too old and I think its time you should grow up... WTF Please tell me the medium and when I can "party like a rockstar"?

Actually, I was always the nerdy one of all my friends I am more of the home body type but hey sometimes I want to go out and just never do it.... PUNK that is the first word that comes to mind, right? So tell me about some of your crazy times when you just didn't give a &%$#!!!! How did it end up?

Let's see who has the best experience and really did....

PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR......

At Last

At last, when all the summer shine
That warmed life's early hours is past,
Your loving fingers seek for mine
And hold them close—at last—at last!
Not oft the robin comes to build
Its nest upon the leafless bough
By autumn robbed, by winter chilled,—
But you, dear heart, you love me now.

Though there are shadows on my brow
And furrows on my cheek, in truth,—
The marks where Time's remorseless plough
Broke up the blooming sward of Youth,—
Though fled is every girlish grace
Might win or hold a lover's vow,
Despite my sad and faded face,
And darkened heart, you love me now!

I count no more my wasted tears;
They left no echo of their fall;
I mourn no more my lonesome years;
This blessed hour atones for all.
I fear not all that Time or Fate
May bring to burden heart or brow,—
Strong in the love that came so late,
Our souls shall keep it always now!

Elizabeth Akers Allen

Something different and not by me.. Do you understand?

Some Days

Does it ever happen to you when you wake up and everything feels great for the first couple minutes and then your day goes from sugar to shit in the matter of seconds? Damn, I know that has happened to me in the last few weeks a few times and it seems like everything I do regardless of how it was meant comes out or across all wrong. So how do you fix these situations?

Do I give up and just say hey you win some you lose some?

Do I try to make a mends and be the humble one like always?

Do I just keep it all inside and the end result happens latter on with a big explosion?

Do I just say hey I have had enough and now its time to say goodbye?

I know what I want and I know how I want my day and everyday to be but this peaches and cream stuff is make believe so it seems to me. Can I just have a day that is great no problems???? How about the rest of the year, I know that's asking a lot right now but I know I can make it better just give me time...... If you really know what I want then show me and let me know that these days are far to few to worry about! It just seems to often then never that I have one of these days and that is why I have.....

SOME DAYS.......

Are you there?

We are so tied up in our own self existence that we neglect the people that are there for us through all of our trials and tribulations. I want to take this time now to slow down just long enough to acknowledge the ones that have been and still are there for me. If you are since I have been so busy to notice or not notice as the case may be. I apologize now for neglecting you or treating you with an attitude that is not that of what I truly want to reflect.

I know I am an ass when stuff stresses me out and I used to handle this emotion so well but now that I am an open book I can be read and that to me is not the easiest thing in the world to deal with. So try to understand that I am changing and trying not to let my issues reflect poorly or negatively upon you. I hope that this is letting you know that I am working on it and that I need you to work at it as well.

All of you that are still here with me if you are I appreciate everything and you being a friend is never taken with a grain of salt. I just want to know....


ARE YOU THERE????

Perfection

How can it be that I have found the one that I consider perfect?
Are you serious, do I really deserve it?
This can't be the one sitting here next to me caressing my hand.
If I don't get a hold of my self and get both feet back on dry land
I don't know if I will sink or float away.
This high is great and I know that if I ask you now the answer is YES.
If I don't will I maintain this great feeling of euphoria?
Can this be the one?
Your touch sends chills up my spine and goosebumps down to my toes...
This has never happened to me why did it take so long for me to open up?
Is it due to looking at the world with a half empty cup?
No I doubt that I always thought of it as half full...
So what could it be?
Are you here as a game or for a lifetime of love?
I know that I will hold no one higher and love no one as much as I do you.
You compliment me and make me look at things in a new light.
Regardless of everything you have stood by and I appreciate that.
Could it be that I have found something worth fighting for in this crazy world?
I think I have and I know now what it is to have......

PERFECTION.

Mother's Day

What a perfect day I had this Mother's Day....

This would not be possible if not for you and for that I thank you. Every other Mother's Day has been just another day, but now you have shown me that hey you deserve this. I hope that all the mother's out there had a great holiday and they spent it with family and loved ones. This is a day to say thanks for every little detail that our mother's did to ensure that we had a good life no matter how bad off we were.

Mother's make the world what it is and if it were not for them we would not be here... Thank you mom and all the other wonderful ladies out there that do what they need to and handle the responsibility of raising your child correctly. Keep doing what you have always done.

This is one of many....

Mother's Days.......

Raw.

What's wrong with me? I ask myself this when I have something great and push it away because I don't think I deserve it or I may be messing their life up and don't want that to happen. It is never my intention to hurt anyone and I try to communicate openly so that what we have doesn't end or feel one sided. But it seems like I don't know how to really tell you what I want so that makes it look like I'm indecisive. Funny thing I really do know what I want is attainable right at this instant? Possibly.

Seems like I served in the US Military for 8.5 years for nothing and that now that I am out to accomplish my goal in life it keeps being pushed back. One reason or another I can't seem to just stay on top of my game and get this ball rolling in the right direction. Money, time and circumstances all play a role in this. DAMN......

So I am at a crossroad now do I give up on the one thing I want to succeed in life? Do I sustain the greatest thing I have in my life and how do I choose with my jobs I had a decent paying job and I gave it up for another job less pay better hours and environment..... Do I go back to the old job and get stuck? My poor neglected lil bookie, just another issue to add to the puzzle and all the other issues I try to keep bottled in now seem to take a toll on me. Was my decision correct when I got out of the military? What type of toll is this distance taking on my bookie? I'm I stressing for no reason? Is this destroying the great relationship I do have?

I understand no one can answer these questions for me but it is never hurts to hear a suggestion. I know that you are here for me but I feel alone maybe some of the things I have seen and been through are starting to affect me....? I apologize now for any short comings I have brought to the relationship...... Please forgive me and if you can't I understand.

This is me just being true, in other words....

RAW.